puberty? nah, the twenties are wayyyy harder

your twenties.
It's awkward to hear others, older folks, maybe a bit older or a lot older discuss how they wish they made smarter decisions in their 20's...

does that mean we're (am I) doomed? I don't mean to get melodramatic, but sometimes I wonder what I will be talking about in 10 years about my "twenties."
I think entering the decade of the twenties can in some sense be the most daunting of all the life stages... This is it. Responsibility is only a whiff away and expectations: success, fulfilled ambition....finding one's soul mate (or not), paying off student loans, all of these 'things' that were once foggy concepts have become much more of a tangible reality.
For example, this week my school is holding a 'grad expo' where seniors essentially have a week to purchase caps, gowns etc...

am I the only one who feels extremely uncomfortable digesting the fact that I will be done with college. Honestly, tomorrow's the last day to purchase grad stuff and I don't know if I can mentally swallow the concept of completion, it seems a bit too much.
I mean, it's only February.

Maybe it's the fact that that I thought four years ago I would have had a few matters under my belt. Maybe the fact that my family situation is drastically different from what is was when I graduated high school has something to do with it. Maybe because I had this false implication that college was going to transform my outlook and enrich my soul with knowledge and experience. Maybe it was the notion (shallow or not) that I would be in a meaningful relationship......

and all of those expectations now seem so one dimensional, so far away, so distant. Yet, even at this point, I find myself dwelling on those thoughts, on why those things have not happened for me yet.
And yet, ironically, the other part of my train of thought remembers, reminds me that those are elements completely out of my control, that I must take things as they are. That there must be a certain logic, certain reason why certain aspects of my life expectations have not been fulfilled, that when things fall or come together in place, it is for the best, (or is that just a shallow reminder to cloud harsh reality? I'm such a cynic)

Okay, how about this:
I never knew that in four years I would be auditioning for grad school for a masters in vocal performance. who knew?
seriously though.
WHO KNEW???????

I sure as hell didn't.
I guess it's the things you least expect, that sometimes actually are reality.

Nostalgia

Nostalgia is evil.